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50 Funniest "Family Guy" Quotes
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Are you a fan of irreverent humor, absurdity, and non-sequiturs? Look no further than "Family Guy", the animated sitcom that has been entertaining audiences for over two decades. From the dysfunctional Griffin family to the residents of Quahog, Rhode Island, the show has no shortage of memorable characters and hilarious moments. To celebrate the show's wit and humor, we've compiled a list of the best Family Guy quotes that will have you laughing out loud and quoting them for weeks to come. So sit back, grab a Pawtucket Patriot Ale, and get ready to chuckle your way through this list of comedic gems.
50 "Family Guy" Quotes (Fun & Funniest)
Whether it's Peter's nonsensical ramblings, Stewie's British-accented musings, or Brian's biting sarcasm, the show is filled with hilarious lines that have become part of our cultural lexicon. Need a witty comeback for a snarky coworker? Quote Brian. Want to impress your friends with your knowledge of pop culture? Drop a reference to a Family Guy cutaway gag. With its endless stream of quotable moments, "Family Guy" has become a goldmine for comedy fans, including the following 50 quotes.
"I'm not a failure because I didn't succeed. I'm a failure because I didn't try." — Peter Griffin.
"Oh, look, a barbershop quartet in four-part harmony. That takes skill!" — Peter Griffin.
"Hey, Peter, it's seven o'clock and you're still not wearing a tuxedo. What are you, a farmer?" — Brian.
"Nothing beats a haunted moonlit night on All Hallows Eve... And on this fatal night, at this witching time, the starless sky laments black and unmoving. The somber hues of an ominous, dark forest are suddenly illuminated under the emerging face of the full moon." — Herbert.
"I'm gonna go upstairs and do the right thing." — Peter Griffin (then proceeds to go upstairs and watch TV).
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"I refuse to be a part of a society that encourages the rampant abuse of alcohol." —
60 Best Family Guy Quotes We Love (2024 Updated)
Family Guy is quirky, witty, and funny in that it can tackle serious and sensitive issues without holding back, making this series loved by many.
If you are a fanatic looking for the best Family Guy quotes, check out what we’ve prepared for you (with the help of the Griffin family).Funny & Witty Family Guy Characters & Their Famous Quotes
Stewie Griffin Quotes
- “I'm going to find something to strike you with, excuse me.”
- “No, thank you, I prefer to die giving you the finger.”
- “How does it feel to be the least cultured person at a bus station?”
- “Close your purse. I can see your tampons. And why do you need six? What happens to you?”
- “When the world is mine, your death should be quick and painless.”
- “The only reason we die is because we accept death as an inevitability.”
- “Oh yeah? Can you read my mind? Can you tell what I'm thinking? I'm thinking, shut up and get a salad!”
- “Mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint: it's in my diaper, and it's not a toaster.”
- “Aren't you a little old to be wearing braces?”
- ”
Peter Griffin Quotes
- “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap.”
- “Let’s go drink until we can’t feel feelings anymore.”
- “Whatever kills me makes me stronger.”
- “I'm not the smartest man in the world, but I can always look back on my life and say I went for it.”
- “If I am a child, you know what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here and be lectured by a pervert.”
- “Oh, you people can kiss the fattest part of my ass.”
- “Now, I may be an idiot, but there's one thing I am not sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.”
- “When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real.”
- “The only way to settle a family dispute is in a cage.”
- “I hate to sound like every woman ever, but I am depressed.”
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Lois Griffin Quotes
- “Well, the best advice I can give is
Family Guy
American animated sitcom
For the franchise, see Family Guy (franchise). For the current season, see Family Guy season 23.
Family Guy is an American animated sitcom created by Seth MacFarlane for the Fox Broadcasting Company. The series premiered on January 31, 1999, following Super Bowl XXXIII, with the rest of the first season airing from April 11, 1999. The show centers around the Griffins, a dysfunctional family consisting of parents Peter and Lois, their children, Meg, Chris, and Stewie, and their anthropomorphicpet dog, Brian. Set in the fictional city of Quahog, Rhode Island, the show exhibits much of its humor in the form of metafictionalcutaway gags that often lampoon American culture.
The family was conceived by MacFarlane after he developed two animated films, The Life of Larry and Larry & Steve. MacFarlane redesigned the films' protagonist, Larry, and his dog, Steve, and renamed them Peter and Brian, respectively. MacFarlane pitched a seven-minute pilot to Fox in December 1998, and the show was greenlit and began production. Family Guy's cancellation was announced shortly after the third season had aired in 2002, with one unaired episode eventually premiering on Adult Swim in 2003, finishing the series' original run. Favorable DVD sales and high ratings from syndicated reruns since then convinced Fox to revive the show in 2004; a fourth season began airing the following year, on May 1, 2005.
Since its premiere, Family Guy has received generally positive reviews. In 2009, it was nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Comedy Series, the first time an animated series had been nominated for the award since The Flintstones in 1961. In 2013, TV Guide ranked Family Guy as the ninth-greatest TV cartoon. The series has also garnered considerable amounts of criticism and controversy, ranging from storylines and character stereotypes, to allegations of racism, homophobia, and misogyny.
- Best family guy quotes
Stewie
Full name
Stewart Gilligan Griffin
Stewart "Stewie" Gilligan Griffin is the flamboyant and eccentric one year old infant of Peter and Lois Griffin. Mentally, he seems much older, even proclaiming in "I Never Met the Dead Man" to be shooting on a fifth grade level.
Stewie is well-spoken, with an advanced vocabulary, an upper-class British accent and an ambiguous sexual orientation. He refers to Peter often as 'The Fat man' and his mother by her given name, Lois. Seth MacFarlane has described him as "an evil Rex Harrison". Stewie is constantly plotting ways to kill his mother, Lois, apparently holding a grudge against her because of his nine-month stay in her "ovarian Bastille." He shares his secrets with his confidant and teddy bear Rupert. Stewie often speaks from the standpoint of a much older person, saying such things as "What is it that you children are into nowadays?"
On the show, Stewie engages in extreme violent or criminal acts, including robbery, carjacking, loan sharking, forgery, and killing off many minor characters. The characters he kills off are for reasons such as anger, jealousy, and grudges he holds. Stewie's mastery of physics, mechanical engineering, and firearms are at a level of science fiction. He has constructed advanced fighter-jets, a mind control device, a weather control device, robots, a time machine, a shrinking pod, a teleportation device, and more. Stewie employs these to deal with the stresses of infant life such as teething pain, and his hatred of broccoli or to kill his mother. Stewie also shows infant-like tendencies such as pretending his trike is an actual vehicle. Stewie's ability to move objects of greater weight than himself is not surprising to other characters, nor is his ability to perform martial arts or retrieve firearms from hammerspace. In "Dog Gone", after he made jokes about Brian killing a dog, Brian asks him how he'd feel if he had killed another baby. He merely replied by telling him he's